I won’t give them traffic by posting the link here.
As I read it, I was thinking about how much it sounded like an animal stalking prey. Then I had an idea. So, here is the very same article, nearly word for word. I have tweaked it a bit to read from a cat’s pov, and added some stuff in bold to help pull it together. I realize I am putting myself out there for a whole bunch of flack. I am sure I will get loads of email and comments about my weight and my looks and how I don't "understand" how negging is supposed to work.
To those up for a good laugh, I give you:
Negging Mice 101
I hear it all of the time from my fellow cats.
“That mouse is a 10! I will never be able to get her!”
And I can’t blame you for thinking that. The mouse is faster than you, smarter than you, and perhaps even far better looking than you. You know, for a mouse. But don’t be silly. Of course you can get that mouse. It just takes a couple of well place techniques to make the mouse doubt herself long enough to let you pounce on her. You need to lower the mouse’s self esteem and place her on, or better still, below your level.
You can lower a rodent’s social value in relation to yours with quick lines by negging mice.
Here are some examples of negging mice:
For a mouse with balding patches: “Did your fur shrink in the rain?”
“Your skin is showing.”
“Your nose is a little red. You’re like a mole. Cool.”
“You know, you look just like the hamster up there in the cage. Weird.”
“You know, I like that color of fur you’ve got on… but I don’t know… your little
feet don’t really match. You should have gone with bigger feet…”
To the other cats stalking the mouse, “So what’s special about this one?”
If the mouse is squeaking with other mice, “So do you guys ever get a squeak in edgewise?”
“Hey… you look like that cartoon character… yeah that’s right, Jerry, remember him?”
“I like your eyes. Hey… are you wearing colored contacts??? (before it can answer) Oh my god, no way, you are… how did a mouse get colored contacts?”
“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up and in bunches of ten to twelve and totally blind and pink and wiggly.”
“Hey, you’re a complete idiot.”
By negging a mouse, you’ve indicated to her that you’re not interested in her over any other mice in the group. This is a new thing for her. She’ll feel the bitter sting of being just like all other mice. Her quicker reflexes and superior dexterity no longer give her all the power – because you’re not responding to quicker reflexes and superior dexterity. You are making up lies about the mouse’s appearance in order to humiliate the mouse and make her sad enough to allow you to control her, rather than doing the actual work of chasing the mouse.
Because you’re also, you know, a cat, at the same time she’s wondering, “Why isn’t this cat after me? Why isn’t this cat chasing me? Who is this cat? How am I going to win this cat’s attention? Because it is my sole purpose in life to be constantly chased around by a hungry cat. I don’t just go out with my mouse friends for a quiet nibble on the town. No. I am constantly on the make for a good chase and getaway just to humiliate the cats of the world. This is the secret goal of all mice.”
Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for juicy mice– even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their quick reflexes. Insult that and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.
Negging mice is ideal for really juicy mice – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average mouse (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate your ability to actually chase the mouse – you don’t need to lower her self esteem to stall her. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.
Negging mice is unnecessary and inappropriate to use on mice who are already easy to catch or just plain old dead. Don’t throw one out of the blue for no reason at a mouse who is already half dead under your paw. That’s just rude.
But if she’s super mousy and you’ve just met her, that’s a different story. Use a neg or two on her.
Now, it’s critical to use negs right. Remember, you’re not out to damage the mouse’s self confidence or put her down. You’re not out to mess up her self-esteem. Some guys in particular cross the line and start throwing soft insults and treating mice like second-class human beings when they don’t deserve it. Everything I just told you to do is in no way like this second thing I just told you not to do. Even if it is totally the very same thing. I know it’s confusing. Figure it out.
The point is to make yourself stand out as the superior species and a challenge, not to make the mouse just feel bad. But used correctly, negging mice is a powerful tool in your feline arsenal.
After all, we are talking about a completely different species with no relevant value to our own. Why care what the mouse thinks about herself? She’s just food for your ravenous hunger. You’re just going to play with her until you break her, devour what you want of her, and then move onto the next mouse. So don’t sweat how the mouse feels or what the mouse thinks. Those things are totally not your problem as you are a socially superior cat.
Good luck, you animals!